Beth verses Diego Round 475867346

Our gardener drives me insane. He does things that make no sense. He claims we have a language barrier. I know he speaks English though because I talk to him in English all the time. And then when he speaks Spanish back to me I talk to him in Spanish too. We do not have a language barrier. He just hears what he wants to hear and doesn't listen to what I am saying.

Like the time he got some extra special grass seed just for me. I was so lucky. This seed is going to sprout on concrete it grows so well. This seed doesn't even need fertilizer or rain. This seed will stay green all summer long even in drought. When the seed started sprouting I realized it was Bermuda. He put Bermuda seed on my lovely green fescue that I had worked years to get right. I thought I was going to murder him. Instead he sprayed it and got rid of it very quickly thankfully.

Or the time I told him to remove two bushes in the backyard. What do you want me to do with them he asks? Well you don't even want to know what I wanted to respond to that question. But I was nice and said instead that I didn't care just get rid of them. When I came home to inspect his work he had not only dug up those two buses but two nandina that I DID NOT want dug up. And like I told him, he got rid of them. UGH!

His wife likes to call me and "translate". She is his accountant and bill collector. She wanted to know if I wanted him to seed this year. Uh, no, considering the Bermuda incident, we are going to put down our own seed. Thanks. But I would like you to come and aerate this next weekend. Well he can come in 4 weeks and aerate. NO, I want this weekend. 4 weeks it is, that sounds good. Lord, please give me the patience, the strength, -- I said, I will compromise with you. How about 2 weeks? She says alright 2 weeks. I said don't you remember last year when you said 1 week and it turned into 4 weeks because he couldn't get the aerator machine because they were all booked up. She ignores me.

This is how all of my communication goes with them. I swear he does things just to annoy me. This weekend I wanted him to plant some bushes and trees in the yard. The bushes that I had to replace because he pulled some up he was not supposed to. Well I plan on this for Saturday as he comes every Saturday morning for the past year. Well wouldn't you know it, the minute I decide to do this is the minute he decides he has plans this weekend and comes on Friday. I am going to pull my hair out.

I tell him to pull weeds. He pulls them all and then leaves the biggest one in the front center left. WTH? I am beginning to think we have a love hate relationship.

I know you wonder why I keep him around. He is a challenge and I am cheap. Plain and simple. He is cheap and I feel like it is my duty to make him a better landscaper and gardener. Plus he does allow me to boss him around when he is here so that is a bonus. There are some days that I say this is it, the last straw. Then I change my mind because I am too lazy to look for someone else and I know they will be twice as much.

This is a classic case of you get what you pay for.

The only Bermuda I better see is one that serves drinks with umbrellas,